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Author Topic: Borowitz Report  (Read 6133 times)
Saladin
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« on: November 16, 2005, 01:02:09 AM »

This guy is just a hilarious satire writer

http://borowitzreport.com/

Quote
KIM JONG-IL’S APPROVAL RATING REMAINS AT 100%

North Korean Madman Gloating About Latest Poll Results

In a new poll released today, North Korean President Kim Jong-Il scored an approval rating of 100%, the same number he has garnered every year since seizing power in 1994.

The reclusive Kim, who rarely makes public appearances except to threaten the world with incineration, held a press conference in Pyongyang to gloat about the latest numbers and to announce that he would seek reelection for life.

At the press conference, a beaming Kim said that his high approval rating was proof that his program of reprocessing spent nuclear fuel rods instead of producing food was overwhelmingly popular with the people of North Korea, and that he would “stay the course.”

According to the poll, Kim scored particularly well on issues of trust, with 100% agreeing with the statement, “Everything Kim Jong-Il says is true and everything everyone else says is a lie.”

Additionally, 100% agreed with the statement, “I will promise to agree with all of these statements if you will agree to stop pointing that gun at my head.”

At his press conference, Kim reserved a few jibes for the current resident of the White House, saying that he was willing to give President Bush ten of his approval points in exchange for a light water nuclear reactor.

At the White House, spokesman Scott McClellan was dismissive of Kim’s offer, but added, “Make that twenty points and we’ll talk.”

Elsewhere, after he was accused by police of reckless driving, NASCAR driver Kurt Busch was suspended by his team and replaced by actress Lindsay Lohan
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« Last Edit: November 16, 2005, 01:05:26 AM by Saladin » Logged

I have become Death; destroyer of worlds.
--J. Robert Oppenheimer upon witnessing the explosion of the first atomic bomb
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Galmort
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« Reply #1 on: November 16, 2005, 04:52:58 AM »

yea you spammer...before you were active lately, i was ahead of you... :/
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Saladin
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« Reply #2 on: November 16, 2005, 05:10:35 AM »

what? you're only 7 behind me and i'm going to sleep soon, i could wake up tommorow and find you have more posts than me


3 MORE POSTS UNTIL BURSEG!!!
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I have become Death; destroyer of worlds.
--J. Robert Oppenheimer upon witnessing the explosion of the first atomic bomb
[/font]
We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark. The real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light
--Plato
[/font]
Galmort
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« Reply #3 on: November 16, 2005, 05:14:34 AM »

yes if i spammed... :paranoid:  
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Galmort
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« Reply #4 on: November 16, 2005, 05:15:03 AM »

spam
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Lord Lanair
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« Reply #5 on: November 16, 2005, 06:54:43 AM »

Tsk tsk... looks at own post count... oh well.  Cheesy

Oh, awesome news article.   Smiley  
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matt_the_shark
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« Reply #6 on: November 16, 2005, 01:31:17 PM »

*shoves lanair out of the picture and then looks at his own post count* Cheesy

awesome article, like the last part Wink
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