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BPSITE => Arts & Literature => Topic started by: Drauka on December 09, 2003, 12:08:40 AM



Title: My love, My pain.
Post by: Drauka on December 09, 2003, 12:08:40 AM
Black blood stains, of my veins, line the walls of my coffin.
The murderer, who murdered her, stood there silently scoffing.
Powers beyond I, cruelly let her die, now that make me suffer.
Forever ask why, on this dreary nigh’, gone now ith my lover.

Calmly run, out of fun, my claws across a cold granite lid.
I will hunt, for this stunt, the murderer who hath swiftly hid.
My love is dead, my anger red, but night is when I hail.
If you are found, swiftly are bound, to pain beyond a wail.

Torment and fire, prick my desire, to slay a far worse beast.
Hunger and need, for me to feed, upon a human feast.
Now close thy eyes, with the sunrise, and with me to my lair.
My death eternal, Thy pain eternal, no eyelids make you stare.

Eyelids to begin, penance for thy sin, I skinned thou slowly alive.
Muscles snap and twang, darkly thou hath sang, and for life thou had strived.
And Live thou surely did, but slowly thou life slid, with the strokes of my knife.
For seven pain filled years, thou shed many red tears, for the life of my wife.


Title: My love, My pain.
Post by: underruler on December 10, 2003, 02:48:39 AM
omg that's hella good...i really hate to ask this,...but is this about someone...or is it something you felt like writing down?


Title: My love, My pain.
Post by: Perdition on December 10, 2003, 03:58:08 AM
that is really good.  I like muchly.  but about the first thingy.  is the person in the poem a demon of somthing?  because blood is never black(if your human)


Title: My love, My pain.
Post by: mole on December 10, 2003, 06:17:01 PM
did u write that?... wow i like

Quote
Black blood stains, of my veins,

pfft its a metaphor me thinks, black blood sugesting evil or done wrong against *realises he sounds like an english teacher and runsfrom himself*


Title: My love, My pain.
Post by: Perdition on December 10, 2003, 06:27:20 PM
bah quit making sense out of it :P  


Title: My love, My pain.
Post by: mole on December 10, 2003, 07:12:04 PM
i had english today and these things get hammered into u after 20+ poems :P


Title: My love, My pain.
Post by: Thamior on December 10, 2003, 07:41:13 PM
Quote
pfft its a metaphor me thinks, black blood sugesting evil or done wrong against *realises he sounds like an english teacher and runsfrom himself*
Not really.  Blood just happens to leave black stains when it dries.  I like the poem, although when I read any of your poems I put them to music in my head.  I like songs more than poems.  :P  


Title: My love, My pain.
Post by: Perdition on December 10, 2003, 07:46:35 PM
*peels band aid off arm*  its more brownish.


Title: My love, My pain.
Post by: Thamior on December 10, 2003, 07:49:11 PM
Give it some time.


Title: My love, My pain.
Post by: Perdition on December 10, 2003, 07:54:53 PM
its been on there for a couple days


Title: My love, My pain.
Post by: Thamior on December 10, 2003, 08:08:31 PM
Are you talking about your scab or have you been using the same dirty band-aid for a couple of days.  Because I wouldn't consider a scab a bloodstain.  That's just clotted blood.


Title: My love, My pain.
Post by: Drauka on December 10, 2003, 08:09:25 PM
Vampire who lost his love to a vampire hunter... but poems are ment to be understood more by the reader then the writer.
So make of it what you will :)

This is my best poem (in my oppinion) to date. With the rhyme scheme and the archaic language it makes it look like an older poetic work. So I love it :)

Thamior- Some of the "poems" I post are songs :P


Title: My love, My pain.
Post by: Thamior on December 10, 2003, 08:11:14 PM
Sweet.  What type of music are they put to?


Title: My love, My pain.
Post by: Perdition on December 10, 2003, 08:16:13 PM
i was talking about the band aid.  


Title: My love, My pain.
Post by: Thamior on December 10, 2003, 08:20:30 PM
I wouldn't recommend using the same band-aid for long periods of time.


Title: My love, My pain.
Post by: Perdition on December 10, 2003, 08:24:48 PM
makes no difference to me


Title: My love, My pain.
Post by: mole on December 10, 2003, 08:24:59 PM
10 hours tops? i still recon its a metaphor :P the colour of blood seems to matter less than the feel it gives


Title: My love, My pain.
Post by: Perdition on December 10, 2003, 08:30:50 PM
the  stickyness doesn't become removalable until 48 hours later. its like super glue


Title: My love, My pain.
Post by: Drauka on December 10, 2003, 09:16:08 PM
Stop spamming my thread, your a freaking mod for christ sakes


Title: My love, My pain.
Post by: Rug on December 10, 2003, 09:23:33 PM
Um... Drauka... its ongoing from a discussion about your black blood line... enlighten us and they'll stop...


Title: My love, My pain.
Post by: Perdition on December 10, 2003, 09:44:54 PM
I'm not spammy this is all on topic. piss me off and I'll sick rug on you


Title: My love, My pain.
Post by: Drauka on December 10, 2003, 09:46:14 PM
Quote
Vampire who lost his love to a vampire hunter...
Quote

I thought I did... i think somone hit it when they asked if it was about a demon, it is to desribe the vampire as evil.

With this line, "Torment and fire, prick my desire, to slay a far worse beast."
the Demon/Vampire states that while he is evil- the hunter is worse.


Title: My love, My pain.
Post by: mole on December 10, 2003, 10:03:16 PM
no we were discussing whether by the black blood remark you were describing a corpses blood or it was a metaphor or an emotional response

egh im really sounding like horton now


Title: My love, My pain.
Post by: Perdition on December 10, 2003, 10:11:36 PM
horton that Dr. Suess charector?  I never was a fan of dr. Seuss.  the rymes pissed me off

Edit:  strange I don't remember posting this message :blink:  


Title: My love, My pain.
Post by: mole on December 10, 2003, 10:57:23 PM
DR. sue.... no Horton is my english teacher