Computers Rule 01001111 01001011
DO {nothing} WHILE (HearFromMe==0)
Features should be discovered, not documented.
Feel lucky?
Update your software!
If God wanted us to do Hex we'd have 16 fingers
If at first you don't succeed, work for Microsoft.
Is that a hard drive or are you just happy to see me?
It did what? Well, it's not supposed to do that.
JOYSTICK: Peripheral used by consulting adults.
Microsoft Windows... a virus with mouse support.
Multitasking causes schizophrenia.
Please don't drink and post.
Programming is an art form that fights back.
The Microsoft Motto: "We're the leaders, wait for us!"
The next thing to do is hang all the consultants.
Welcome to Hell! Here's your copy of Windows!
What could possibly go wrong.
Apathy Error: Don't bother striking any key.
Fatal Error. You're dead.
Become a computer programmer and never see the world again.
God is real, unless declared as an integer.
Computer: "How do you feel?" Spock: "I don't understand the question."
-------- if you cut here, you'll probably destroy your monitor ---------
Why do programmers get Halloween and Christmas mixed up? Because OCT(31) = DEC(25)
Intel: Putting the "backward" in "backward compatible".
Computer Science is no more about computers than astronomy is about telescopes.
AOL - World's largest floppy disk distributer
To err is human; to debug, divine.
True multitasking: running Win95 and WinNT on the same machine...
Brain error: core dumped.
Words often used in Bill Gates bedroom: MICRO and SOFT...
Oops. My brain just hit a bad sector.
Not tonight, dear. I have a modem.
"Luke... Luke... Use the MOUSE, Luke" - Obi Wan Gates
My poor mouse only has one ball.
Bugs come in through open Windows.
Blessed are the pessimists, for they make backups!
I am built for comfort, not speed!
I had a life once... now I have a computer and a modem.
"I am logged in, therefore I am."
The truth is out there? Anyone knows the URL?
Canadian DOS prompt: EH?>
Only 19,999 lines of C++ to my next ski trip...
WINDOWS ERROR #004: Operator fell asleep while waiting.
Windows NT: Only 16 megs needed to play Minesweeper!
Windows NT: The world's only 80 megabyte Solitaire game!
Wanna flirt with disaster? Become a SysOp!
Yes my son, long ago mail was read 1 packet at a time.
Copyright© my ass!
Now available: Windows for Windows!
What's so great about humans anyway?
586, 32Mb 40ns RAM, 4Gb 2ms HD. Now Windows will beat DOS!
All wiyht. Rho sritched mg kegtops awound?
Windows is a colorful clown suit for DOS.
WindowError:01F Reserved for future mistakes.
Windows error 000 : No errors found! [CLOSE]
Windows isn't a virus... Viruses do something...
WindowError:005 Multitasking attempted. System confused.
Double your drive space - delete Windows!
B.Gates : quality software :: R.McDonald : gourmet cuisine
Break up a relationship - buy a computer!!
Air conditioned environment - Do not open Windows.
My other computer is even slower.
Beware of programmers carrying screwdrivers!
All programers are optimists.
Bus error (Passengers dumped)
Coming soon: Netware for the Nintendo!
ERROR 103: Dead mouse in hard drive.
Error 15 - Unable to exit Windows. Try the door.
HAL 9000: Dave. Put down those Windows disks, Dave. DAVE!
Multitasking causes schizophrenia..
Artificial Intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
One person's error is another person's data.
I tried an internal modem, but it hurt when I walked.
Who needs a virus when we've got OS/2...?
(D)inner not ready: (A)bort ®etry (P)izza
*NO CARRIER* -- A Naval Aviator's worst nightmare!
Happiness is a BIG hard drive!
Cannot find REALITY.SYS. Universe halted.
2 + 2 = 5 for extremely large values of 2.
Access denied--nah nah na nah nah!
C:> Bad command or file name! Go stand in the corner.
Why doesn't DOS ever say "EXCELLENT command or filename!"
Bad command. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaay..
... File not found. Should I fake it? (Y/N)
CONGRESS.SYS Corrupted: Re-boot Washington D.C (Y/n)?
Shell to DOS...Come in DOS, do you copy? Shell to DOS...
Press <Alt> - <Ctrl> - <Del> to continue ...
Smash forehead on keyboard to continue.....
Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue...
Error: Keyboard not attached. Press F1 to continue.
Press any key to continue or any other key to quit...
Press any key... no, no, no, NOT THAT ONE!
Hit any user to continue.
Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes.
Computers are not intelligent. They only think they are.
The name is Baud... James Baud.
Southern DOS: Y'all reckon? (Yep/Nope)
Who's General Failure & why's he reading my disk? ***
All computers wait at the same speed.
E-mail returned to sender -- insufficient voltage.
DOS Tip #17: Add DEVICE=FNGRCROS.SYS to CONFIG.SYS
Hidden DOS secret: add BUGS=OFF to your CONFIG.SYS
Error reading FAT record: Try the SKINNY one? (Y/N)
Backup not found: (A)bort ®etry (P)anic
If debugging is the process of removing bugs, then programming must be the process of putting them in.
Programmers don't die, they just GOSUB without RETURN.
Programmer - A red-eyed, mumbling mammal capable of conversing with inanimate objects.
Real programmers don't document. If it was hard to write, it should be hard to understand.
...Every morning is the dawn of a new error...
11th commandment - Covet not thy neighbor's Pentium.
All wiyht. Rho sritched mg kegtops awound?
Help! I'm modeming... and I can't hang up!!!
ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI!
As a computer, I find your faith in technology amusing.
BUFFERS=20 FILES=15 2nd down, 4th quarter, 5 yards to go!
My software never has bugs. It just develops random features.
C:WINDOWS C:WINDOWSGO C:PCCRAWL
C:DOS C:DOSRUN RUNDOSRUN
BREAKFAST.COM Halted...Cereal Port Not Responding
Buy a Pentium so you can reboot faster.
"Bother," said Pooh, and promptly vanished.
Manuals come out, after all possible keystrokes fail.
Your password is pitifully obvious.
Who were the Beta Testers for Preparations A through G???
It works better when you turn the brightness up.
DDT: Debug Program
Taglines that make you go "Hmmm..."
It's not a bug, it's a feature.
"Bother," said Pooh as he reached for the reset button.
#define QUESTION ((bb) || !(bb)) - Shakespeare.
Daddy, what does FORMATTING DRIVE C mean?
"Virtual" means never knowing where your next byte is coming from.
'Calm down -- it's only ones and zeros.'
'Profanity: the universal programming language'
... REALITY.SYS Corrupted - Unable to recover Universe
A bad random number generator: 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 4.33e+67, 1, 1, 1
A computer program does what you tell it to do, not what you want it to do.
A)bort, R)etry, I)nfluence with large hammer.
A)bort, R)etry, P)ee in drive door
ASCII to ASCII, DOS to DOS.
After a number of decimal places, nobody gives a damn.
An elephant is a mouse with an operating system.
Another megabytes the dust.
Avoid temporary variables and strange women.
C:GRAPHICSGIFNAUGHTYFILTHYDISGUSTINGWOW!
CCCP:> format CCCP: /u
Close your eyes and press escape three times.
Computer Science: solving today's problems tomorrow.
Disc space, the final frontier!
From C:*.* to shining C:*.*
I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them. - Isaac Asimov
I haven't lost my mind; it's backed up on tape somewhere.
If at first you don't succeed, you must be a programmer.
It said, "Insert disk #3," but only two will fit!
Know Thy User.
Logic: The art of being wrong with confidence...
Maintenance free: It's impossible to fix.
One man's constant is another man's variable.
Programmers do it bit by bit.
Sure it's user-friendly...if you know what you're doing.
The determined programmer can write a FORTRAN program in any language.
The world will end in 5 minutes. Please log out.
There can never be a computer language in which you cannot write a bad program.
This message transmitted on 100% recycled electrons.
Those who can, do. Those who cannot, teach. Those who cannot teach, HACK!
To be, or not to be, those are the parameters.
Trojan: Storage device for replicating codes...
USER ERROR: replace user and press any key to continue.
WOMAN.ZIP: Great Shareware, but be careful of viruses...
When all else fails, let a = 7. If that doesn't help, then read the manual.
You never finish a program, you just stop working on it.
grep..grep..grep... (Frog with UNIX stuck in its' throat)
How do you make a Mac go faster? Throw it harder
Honey, PLEASE don't pickup the p€‚·¸¹¾¿ÀÃÇÈÉÊ
